Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
