I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's shark week go big or go home
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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