she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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