You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
