Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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