god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It's blow job season.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You were trust falling into bushes
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
