And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
