sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
