He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
