Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
