i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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