i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
