And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think my fart just growled at me.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
