i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize