I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
vagina is talking i cant
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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