Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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