Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
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