So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
