Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
