Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
