I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
