I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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