Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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