And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
