and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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