I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
