Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
