Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
