i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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