just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
