There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
