Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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