you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
