Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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