D3 body, D1 cock
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
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