I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
