I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
