OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
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