I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
