i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
