it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
