I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
