my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
