I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
