Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
