he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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