3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Houston, we have a squirter
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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