Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
