Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
