Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she woke up with a sticky ear
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
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