She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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