You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
