My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
